Sunday, July 17, 2011


Sometimes I feel like just doing completely wordless posts. Does anyone else ever feel like that?

I guess it's time to have a little bit of a get to know me session about something I don't often share...

I was an extremely anxious, quiet, shy, friendless  {and most definitely awkward} child growing up.

A lot of those anxieties followed me into adulthood.

I've only recently become comfortable with going to the store by myself.  God forbid a stranger try to talk to me without anyone else around to protect from going into a panic attack!

Sometimes I revert back into these quiet spells, and when I have to talk to people I don't know well, I get so awkward. I say whatever strange thing pops into my head because I feel like I am on show for the world to see, so I have to speak.

I wring my hands, sometimes go off in the complete opposite direction with diarrhea of the mouth {Gross description right?}

I'm a nervous nervous nelly. 

Which just might make me totally crazy, seeing as how I decided to start a blog last October, which requires me to speak {well, type...same thing in my mind} strangers no less! Almost 600 strangers even!
And now I am doing flea market shows and meeting all these fabulous new people. I think it is doing good to pull me out of my shell some.

But if you ever meet me in person and think "Wow she is flaky" please remember I am making my best effort to not run to my bedroom and cry from anxiety of meeting someone new. 

I think I am making some excellent progress and I think a good deal of the progress is from all of you wonderful wonderful people out here in blogworld, commenting, conversing back and forth, and just in general encouraging.

Anyways so talk about wordy right? I just shared something personal without any hand wringing or hyperventilating.

Thank you all for your kind words and friendships!

Source: via Nicki on Pinterest


  1. i think everyone has a little of that inside!!! you do a fabulous job with your blog!

  2. Anxiety is a horrible thing to live with. I have had to deal with a person who had a anxiety attack many years ago, my husband. He is on medication to keep that at bay. When it happened in 1993 he was a completely different person and it scared me to death that the man I knew was gone, but he gradually got better and then was back to normal, but still gets nervous on and off, but nothing like the first time. My mom and sister have had anxiety issues, too so I understand what you are living with.
    Have a great week and good luck in the giveaway!

  3. I think most of us deal with this on some level. I pray for your continued growth. Your home and blog are beautiful. I'm your newest follower.

  4. I completely understand your every word, as your post describes me also...

  5. Well whoda thunkit? Not me!

    Nicki - I'd say you've come out of your shell quite a bit as when I was walking by your booth at the French Flea Market (heading straight for the bathroom and didn't see you) it was YOU that said, "Cindy" before I even saw you!

    Cindy Bee

  6. @Bee Lady
    I'm making excellent progress. I still have my moments. But really it's been the great bloggers like you who have shown me that it is possible to make great friends with strangers!

  7. I would have never guessed from meeting you and talking to you at the flea Nicki! You did wonderful!!!! I am not that way meeting people one on one, but please don't EVER throw me in front of a group of people to speak or I will freeze up, dry mouth, heart palpations...nervous nellie. I haven't a clue why because I took speech in high school, but truthfully I don't get up in front of people at all. I can create and decorate but not talk. I guess we all have our gifts and that way we balance each other out!! Now hubby...he can talk to anyone anywhere!! hee hee

  8. Hi Nicki, I love this...... YOur an OVercomer and that is a giant step putting down what you don't want to be.... I think you nailed it girly.

  9. Yes Nikki we all do... But I will tell you that I love seeing what everyone id doing and saying, I am always asking myself, What do I post today??? And I if I don't have anything to say then I just don't post that day... love Ya see you next weekend Saturday


  10. your blog is a lovely reflection of you ~ honest, creative, thoughtful with a touch of girly glam! thanks for sharing Nicki, I can relate to a lot of what you say :)

  11. Hi! I'm the oppposite...I used to be sooo outgoing in high school {I was a cheerleader all throughout jr. high & high school}...BUT, these days I've become such an introvert...I am really shy towards people I don't know. I come off as nervous, awkward, & a little weird at times! lol Sooo...I hear you when you want to run away & hide! BTW, I'm a new follower as well. :) I just started "actively blogging" myself since we just bought our fixer in the city. ;) Looking forward to your posts!

  12. well let me say that this wonderful creative kinship we all share is without judgment or biases. we are all getting to know each other "from the inside out" and finding beauty there. remember that. you are well-loved here because you love so well. you have sooo much to offer and do it with kindness and a softness that makes you very likable indeed! you go girl!!

  13. Well all I have to say is keep doing what you are doing. And when you get nervous, just slow down and pause. I had a spell of anxiety when I was in college, and it was tough to overcome, but I did. Just take it slow, but take it somewhere!

  14. I would have never thought that you were anything but extroverted. Your blog is great, and I am so happy I found it! :D I know what you mean, though, about sometimes you just want to post a photo mosaic, and then sometimes you feel the need to post a wordy post.

    Congrats on so many followers, but I get it because your blog rocks!

    Ricki Jill

  15. The older I get ...I seem to become the same way.
    I tend to have confidence in some circles...and lacking mostly, in others. Blogging is helping me to get around that 'flakines'. YES! I own up to it-- I'm FLAKY, but I CAN'T HELP IT...HONEST!

    thanks for sharing- and letting us get to know you better, Pat

  16. Well sweetie, I never would have guessed that. You come off as poised and confident on your blog. You are fearless at decorating and sheesh, you even cohabitated with the ex and (to my knowledge) didn't pull out your own hair. Kudos for sharing and kudos for all you've been doing to step out of your comfort zone. I saw a sign the other day that said "Life begins outside your comfort zone." True nuff.


  17. Oh, boy, can I relate! One on one stuff? Fine. But crowds? People I don't know? I'm a mess.

    Thanks for sharing. You really have a beautiful blog.


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